Anger “chrysalised” into curiosity and still learning with #ABIMF2014

How can one transform anger into curiosity?  Stubbornness.  I do not want to become a physician that works for the hospital or a big group.  I want to choose my own EHR,  the toys I play with to help improve what I can deliver to my patients.  If I am curious and having fun, and not angry, does that not rub off or infect those around me?

I had two back to back patients tell me yesterday, “This is the best appointment I have ever had.”  This keeps happening, and these Montanans are of Germanic, Norwegian, Swedish heritage, wonderful people, but not necessarily loose with the praise.

So why do I share this?  To make a buck, grow my business, seek attention?  There is a little voice inside that is clawing to get out and be heard and I cannot suppress it.  It is the voice of my patient, and I have no choice but to respect what I hear and convey to those who are kind enough to listen.

I will be honest, and evidenced by these miserable attempts at writing, this is extremely humbling to be part of.

Why would an internist from a town in Montana with stagnant growth and lots of wind be crazy enough to expect to even be taken seriously?  Pushing out this unbelievable boast how he has the secret to the new patient physician EHR interface and how this will soon become the standard of care in delivery at the point of contact.

And the audacity to suggest he has the secret of making MOC activity palatable to the masses of overworked angry physicians too?

I have grown to love and respect this profession, and want what is best for my patient.  I think every patient should not only see but be part of learning, editing, observing from his own health record projected on a large screen during the office visit.  It is incredibly moving to see how being part of this process changes the dynamics of the patient physician relationship for the better.

This is all I ask, the reader consider this approach, and if it sounds reasonable, try it, and if it improves your ability to connect with your patient, then I have all I want.


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